Literary Spam

I got Jane Austen-ish spam in my e-mail box this morning:

Lady Amanda Williams.
52 Oxford Street, England.

Here writes Lady Amanda Williams, suffering from cancerous ailment. I was married to Sir Richard Williamsan Englishman who is dead. My husband was into private practice all his life before his death.Our life together as man and wife lasted for three decades without child, My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of £20 Million which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank here in UK. Presently, this money is still with the bank. Recently, my doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift to fund the upkeep of widowers, orphans, the down-trodden, and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank in UK. I will also issue you a Letter of Authority that will empower you as the original beneficiary of this money. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein, You can contact me through my personalemail address: [removed]

Lady Amanda Williams.

I can just picture Lady Amanda Williams wandering the moors of London, clutching her chest from worry. Whatever will she do? If only some kind, benevolent benefactor would allow her to give them her money, to protect it from her evil relatives and to help widowers, orphans, and the downtrodden. Can’t you help her out?