• Writes in full make-up
  • Sits up straight
  • Hair perfectly arranged suggests attention to detail
  • Awesome typewriter
  • Smokes, which looks cool, even though it smells bad
  • High-necked dress and glasses = uptight librarian type
  • Red lipstick hints that librarian thing may be a front for a more passionate nature
  • Not covered in cat hair
  • Faithfully looks at the dictionary while writing
  • Concentrates well
  • No sign of multiple diet sodas and coffee cups on desk
  • Probably lives someplace cool like New York City or other East Coast city
  • Does not write in pajamas
  • 5 thoughts on “Ways I Am Not This Woman

    1. Leona!

      How come you didn’t include “Does not exist” on the list? Ain’t no writers I know look like that except in 40’s movies about fast-talking newspaper dames.

    2. justin

      umm, who is this woman?

    3. joy

      oh how I want to be a fast-talking newspaper dame!

    4. Leona!

      You have missed that era. Maybe you can be a street-smart lady cop like in the 70s. It will require “Farrah Hair” and polyester. I hope that’s OK with you.

      Also: please tell your readers more about your camera. I have decided to try to get a new camera for Christmas, and I would like to copy you.

    5. Kate

      I don’t have a cool beauty mark like she does. I bet she applied it each morning with her eyeliner pencil.

    Leave A Comment

    Recommended Posts

    I’m A Master Gardener!

    After five-months of practicums, weekly classes, and a grueling 100-question exam, I graduated from the Sonoma County Master Gardener program! Here I am with my … certificate? Degree? Anyway, I’m a Master Gardener now.